A Parody To End All Parodies
by FainOG
Summary: There has never been, and never will be a more zany and strange parody of DBZ. Written by two author's playing off each other, it should be quite strange. Enjoy it... Read and review by the way! Thanx!


AN: This parody was written by both myself and my brother. We switched off the writting nearly every paragraph making the plot nearly non existent and the style changes often.. Which might be cool. Some of this is funny, some of it might not be... don't flame me cause you didn't think it was funny, only if you have some helpful hints or something. Read and review, no ass kissing, be honest... By the way, I don't own DBZ (unfortunately) neither does my bro... but my dog does, so we can do whatever we want!  
  
  
  
A Parody To End All Parodies Prepare yourself for endless acts of sillyness, endless plot twists, and general zaniness.  
  
  
  
Goku, whistling, walked up to his room. He thought back on all the adventures he had as a kid. Those were the days, I wish I could relive them. Yeah that would be great. But back to the present he was about to go get Gohan so they could head off to a reunion of his old gang. He heard something in his own room and figured he would see if it was Gohan. As he opened the door he got the shock of his life. There on the bed was Chi Chi and Master Roshi. They were having sex! "Chi Chi!" "Oh my god its Goku, run Roshi!" Laughing his laugh Roshi pulled his pants up and took a running leap out the window. Goku rushed to the window and yelled out, "And don't come back you rotten pervert." He turned back to his wife ready to do something drastic. "Goku now don't do anything bad he was a paying customer." "Oh, okay."  
  
Later..  
  
"Everyone, this is my son, Gohan. He smells a little and we think he's more into men than women, but I love him!" "Goku," started Bulma, "He has a tail?" "Uh, no shit woman, he's a Saiyayayayay-jin" retorted Goku! The gang talked a bit more then went inside to wait on the arrival of Vegeta. "Why did that ugly balding dumb-ass call us here anyway?" Bulma asked in her typical deep mannish voice. Everyone just shrugged.  
  
Even later.  
  
They had all gathered to meet Vegeta who was on the way to say or do something. Finally they saw Vegeta approaching and soon touched down. Vegeta scowling walked up to them. "Listen up and listen good. I'm here to say one thing and one thing only." Goku raised his hand. "What is it "Goku"?" "Well I was wondering about something." "Well spit it out "tailless"." "Is that an insult?" "Well of course the Saiyayayayayay-jin and tonic's male genitalia is the tail." Goku screamed, "I've lost my manhood!" Kuririn slapped him, "Yo dude, this gnarly fella here has something mondo cool to say to all us cats out here." "Kuririn, why do you talk like that?" "That's what's hip and happening dude." "Nobody has talked like that since like the seventies." "Oh.shit." "Get back to your question Goku." "Oh right. I was wondering. Well this is the beginning of the series right?" "Right." "Well then what the hell are you doing here at the beginning of the show, you're supposed to show up after I've gone through all my pointless adventures down Penis Way. You know, Princess Penis the hermaphrodite, HFGB the home for gay bitches, and finally on to Queen Kai the cross dressing catfish who teaches travelers the homo-ken." "And your point is." "Oh never mind."  
  
Finally.  
  
"So at last you puny earthlings will get to here my infinitely dull, boring, pointless, gay rantings that I have gathered you here to hear!" Blurted Vegeta in his high strung almost-homosexual English accents. "But first," he continued, "Would you care to join me for a spot of tea?" "Su.r.e. Vege." Everyone trailed off. Gohan had crawled behind Vegeta and was gently rubbing his tail along Vegeta's crotch area. Everyone stared.  
  
Meanwhile.  
  
Furiza walked across the hallway containing the HermaForce's quarters.  
  
And.  
  
A bird flew across the sky. BOOM!!!! The bird exploded!  
  
Back to Krotch Island.  
  
"Ah quite refreshing, now that we are done with the tea I'll start with immensely homosexual things I have to sa." He trailed off and his mouth opened slightly and one eye closed a bit. They looked under the table to find Gohan rubbing his tail against Vegeta's crotch again. They looked up to find Vegeta in the same gi that Goku wore, they blinked and he was back in his normal armor. The Tea Warriors and co. shook it off and went back to listening to what Vegeta had to say.  
  
Furiza's Place.  
  
Furiza walked in to the Hermaforces quarters to find them practicing their "technique". "Together we are the Hermaforce!" Gurudo was stradling Burter, Rikkum was doggy style with Jeice, and Ginyu had his hand on Rikkum's ass.  
  
And then.  
  
Back to Vegeta's Gay Rantings.  
  
"To begin I'd like to say. Uhhhgg, Uhhggg, Hmmmph! Quit it kid! Sorry, I'd like to explain what you've all gathered to find a. Ummph! Uhphhh! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh, Ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh, Quit! I'm gonna beco.m.!!!!!!" With a yell and a loud BOOM SQUISH an aura surrounded vegeta.  
  
"Squish squish squish scrt scrt scrt!" A sound began!  
  
The yellow aura fired higher and Vegeta screamed, "I'm becoming an Super Saiyayayayayay-jin!" His hair immediately fell out and his muscles deflated. Leather pantyhose with no crotch appeared in place of his Saiyayayayayay-jin and Tonic armor. He wore no shirt but black leather suspenders and some device encircling his nipples -Vegeta claimed it was a "Scouter" but nobody knew what it was for.  
  
Cut away.  
  
Goku, "Grrrrrunt" Gohan, "Delicious" Kuririn, "We're winning," grins sheepishly, realizes it's not a battle but only adds, "Dude!" Bulma, "Grunt, ahhhhh" Roshi.. Gropes Bulma  
  
Cut back.  
  
Vegeta took his whip and slapped it into his hand. "Now, listen up. I have some very important things to say to you. And don't be naughty or I'll have to punish you." He stretched out the whip and cracked it in the air. Gohan tugged on Vegeta's panties and looked up at him, "I'm naughty."  
  
Cut away.  
  
Piccolo, "Why haven't I been introduced yet?"  
  
Hermaforce.  
  
Furiza, "Hermaforce I have a mission for you. I want you to go to planet earth and bring me the dragon's balls so I can wish for something quite "evil". Hermaforce whispering, "Not another mission to get something gay for (place term for hermaphrodite royalty here) Furiza."  
  
And now for something completely different!!! "All right folks lets clear out," cried the official, "The preliminary rounds to the Worlds Gayest Under Heavens Marital Sex Tournament is about to begin. Audiences are not allowed to see this, as we do not wish to expose you to unnecessary sex and gratuitous violence. Plus we weed out the straight guys in this part."  
  
All around could be heard the echoes of grunts and punches, an odd combination.  
  
Cut back to the island.  
  
Vegeta, "Oh yeah," sighs and goes un-Super Saiyayayayayay-jin. His panties were replaced (thank g_d) with fighting armor, hair grew back, and his whip disappeared. Gohan, "Ohhhhh man..." Sits down by himself and licks his tail with a smirk. Kami, "Uhhh, whatever, I don't belong here!" Vegeta continues his interrupted sentence, "We have exactly 3 minutes to get to the Worlds Gayest Under Heavens Marital Sex Tournament. That's what I came to tell y'all!!!!!!!" All... Fall on backs astounded!!!!!!  
  
Back On Kame Island. Goku: "No way in hell are we going to that gay ass tournament. You can go if you want but no one else here would even think of entering. Gohan jumps in the air, "Can I enter daddy?" Gohan.suddenly on ground holding his head in pain. Everyone. "what happened?" Goku. "The hand is quicker then the eye." Camera.Pans to view of Goku's back where he holds a large mallet.  
  
Suddenly.  
  
BOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!  
  
[The Screen Fades Slowly to Black]  
  
[Gradually Fades Back In, As Sound Returns - The sound of prayer]  
  
"Alas Goku, we knew ye well.. Actually he turned out to be the only straight guy around.. Guess we didn't knew ye?" Gogeta turned with a tear in his eye, his head lowered. A man in the crowd screams as his head falls off. Another is impaled by Gogeta's hair. Vegetto. rises from the funeral seating and pats Gogeta on the back. "It's ok, I understand. I have no idea what we're doing here either!" Gogeta, "Wanna get a burger?" Vegetto, "Sure, or maybe Taco Bell!!!" They walk off into the distance, to the backdrop of a setting sun, holding hands the whole time.  
  
Briefly..  
  
. Actually that whole scene didn't happen. Some monkey leaped onto the computer and started pounding the keys. It actually turned out pretty good but that's not how the scene is supposed to pan out. This is actually how it happened.  
  
Suddenly.  
  
Kami lands on the island, having never been there before, and starts babbling. Piccolo. smacks Kami. "Calm down. Talk some sense woman!" Goku. "What is it Kami?" "Well I just saw a really great episode of The Young and Restless. It was terrific! Tammie and joey got back together again!" Krillen. "Oh yeah I saw that one to. It was really cool!" Tien. Smacks Krillen, "Shut up woman!" Everyone. "Oh forget it, we're not even going to ask." "Um, what we're you really going to tell us Kami?" "Oh well.Two incredibly powerful warriors are on the way here to destroy the Earth and steal the Dragon's Balls! They will be here in just a year!"  
  
. So anyway here is what really truly happened.  
  
Goku. "Well since I already talked about everything that happened on my way and revealed way to many things can't we just skip ahead?" Writer. Consulting script. "Well there might be some humor we can squeeze out of your trip down penis way so we should keep it." Goku. "But I'm sure there are tons of jokes you can make about a crappy joke telling catfish who's friends include a monkey that can't talk and a Grasshopper that suprisingly can." Writer. "Hmm. I guess your right. Ok here we go."  
  
Goku. "Wow, I'm finally on Queen Kai's planet. And man the gravity here is incredible." Queen Kai.  
  
And now for an executive meeting of the Buus.  
  
Fat Buu: To start off the meeting we'll do announcements and questions. Thin Buu: I think I've gained weight. Does that make me Fat Buu? Fat Buu: I'm Fat Buu Thin Buu: But what if I get fat. Than I'm still Buu and I'm also fat. So then am I Fat Buu? Fat Buu. Turns up palms and blasts Thin Buu. Kid Buu: Since I'm Kid Buu, is there a Foggie Buu? Foggie Buu: Yeps Wrinkled Buu: I need a good press. Gay Buu: I'll take care of that! Cell: I'm not a Buu Smelly Buu: Bath anyone? Fat Buu: That's enough of that. Let's come to the planning part of our Executive Meeting of the Buus!!! Any ideas? All: Uhhhh. Not Buu Buu: Maybe we can vaporize something? Maybe Buu Buu: Or commit Genocide again? Just Plain Buu Buu: How about we do something completely different. Like attempt to take over Earth (as that is the most important and only strategic planet in existence), fail to beat our enemy (Usually Goku) when we have the chance. Then lose to him and his Genki Dama after he rises to Super Saiyayayayaya-jin and tonic level. like 100,000!!! Who's with me? All: Uhhh, Ok!!!!  
  
Meanwhile.  
  
So um.What was happening? Oh right, training. Well Queen Kai is training Goku. "Goku for your first task you must kick fluffy!" Points to a cute little dog nearby. Goku. "um Ok." Punts dog into the "Even Nexter Dimension." "Now choke scruffy!" Goku. "Why is this my training?" Queen kai. "Abusing animals under high gravity vastly increases your strength."  
  
On Earth.  
  
Piccolo and Gohan.sitting on a coach watching tv. Other z fighters. zzzzzzzzz.sleeping sounds Yadjirobe.  
  
The Sacs crashed violently to Earth with an explosion.  
  
Raditz steps out of his sac and looks over as the second pod opens revealing. "Hey, where did he go? Oh well lets just continue from here." Raditz looks around and taps a button on his scouter. Some random numbers appear on it and he pretends to know what they mean. "It looks like my puny brother Kakarott is close by." Suddenly.  
  
"Hold it right there. We are the Sailor scouts. We fight for love and justice and that means you!" Sailor Jupiter, "You fucked up again dumbass! You said we fight for love and justice and that means you, like they're love and justice. Pah!" Sailor Moon, "I'm sorry its just hard." Other Sailor scouts, "Oh forget her blubbering and lets kick his butt!" All scouts rush Raditz and make random attacks and stupid martial arts moves. Raditz, "Who the hell are they?" Suddenly a rose lands next to Raditz and the Sailor scouts look up revealing, tuxedo mask. "Go girls, now that I have thrown a rose for no reason you can win." "OK, lets do this!" Raditz.exasperated shakes his head and then vaporizes them all.  
  
Later.  
  
Raditz.looking at map, "Oh! I must have landed on Erth. My mistake. There's the real one. Ok, here I go."  
  
Minutes later a sac crashes into a farm.  
  
The kids that were playing around the farm suddenly all turn in horror. The short red haired girl exclaims, "Oh, no, not again!" The black haired nerdy kid exclaims, "Shazbot, I need to train for the Johto League."  
  
Suddenly.  
  
"Prepare for trouble." "And make it double." "To protect the world from devastation! To do some other shit and expand our nation! Prepare to fight! Team Rocket take off at the speed of light" "Meowth that's right!" All: ... Kid "Pikachu goooooo.. Pikachu...??? PIKKKAAACHUUUUU???? "  
  
Meanwhile.  
  
Gohan, "Ok Pikachu, stick that little thing in there and just give it a tiny jolt.. Ahhhh, good Pikachu! Now, give it some more jUUUUUIIIIICCCCEEEEEEE!!!!!!"  
  
And.  
  
Writer: ". Just shoot me now!"  
  
Chibi Trunks: (Sees Future Trunks) Uh, Uh, Uh, AAAAHHHHHH!!! Future Trunks: (Sees Chibi Trunks) Uh, Uh, Uh, AAAAHHHHHH!!!  
  
[UNIVERSE EXPLODES] BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Doctor Emmet Brown: I told you so...  
  
The End  
  
  
  
Writer: "That's it! I'm ending it right now!" Bang!  
  
Well.  
  
Buu "Spirit bomb, for great justice!" He hurled the glowing ball down at Goku and Napa. Goku "Why is he hurling a spirit bomb at us, and who the fuck is Buu" The spirit bomb crashes into Goku and Vegeta (who was there of course) and everything goes KABOOM or maybe BABOOM nobody knows.  
  
Power Ranger's Time Force.. Spin around to face the other direction, just as the monsters, Godzilla and Reptar, fall and explode!  
  
Napa: That FUCKASS Doesn't GAY WHORE HEAD PENIS Make FUCK sense...  
  
Writer: It's a secret code language I swear ^^  
  
Piccolo: So now that the ten minutes we had to get to the tournament are nearly up shall we be on our way. Gohan: Yeah, bring on the Gay Sex!!!!  
  
Writer: "Just ignore what I said earlier. Cause I'm dead. Come to think of it how am I writing this?" Dies again.  
  
Out of no where.  
  
Came a man.  
  
Of glory.  
  
Honor.  
  
Of great resourcefulness.  
  
"Go Go Gadget Kamehameha!!!!!!" Since no one was there the energy wave passes harmlessly through the air.  
  
Then.  
  
Over a hill they came.  
  
Great in numbers. They are the tea warriors.  
  
They will fight for justice and honor.  
  
They will defeat their enemy.  
  
Goku. "You can take our lives but you'll never take our balls!" Gohan. "For balls!" All.charge down the slope towards Vegeta and Nappa. Kuririn. "For Great Justice." "Take off every Kame Hame Haaaaaa!!!!" "Mooooooooooovvvvvvveeeeeeee Kamehamehaaaa!!!!!"  
  
Vegeta and Nappa. "What you doing?" Nappa. "Some one set us up the Kamehameha!!!! FUCK ASS WHORE" Vegeta. "What you say?" Nappa. "SOME ONE SET US UP THE KAMEHAMEHA!!!! FUCK ASS WHORE" Vegeta. "Take off every Gallic Gun!!!!" Vegeta. "Mooooooooooooooovvvvveeeee Gallic Gun!!!!!" Vegeta. "You have no chance to survive make your time!!!" Nappa. "FUCK ASS WHORE!!!! COCK COCK COCK!!!!"  
  
Mr. Popo "We're Doomed!!!!" adds, "dude!" He then proceeds to remove his mask, proving him to in fact be Kuririn!!!  
  
Suddenly.  
  
"Wind" "Water" "Earth" "Fire" Gohan, "Homo" "Heart" "."  
  
[Ominous Voice Sounds From Nowhere]  
  
~When your Powers combine.. I. Am. Captain. Ginyu!!!!!~  
  
All: Uhhhhh? "Who are you?" "I AM CAPTAIN GINYU!" "Really?" "No, you're to smart for me." Pulls off mask revealing Zarbon. Everyone. "Now who the hell are you?" Zarbon. pulls off mask revealing.Guru. Guru. "I see you are all well my children." Goku. "How can you see if you don't open your eyes." Othes. "Don't disrespect Guru. Besides your dead!" All. "Ok, have fun now, bu bye."  
  
[And now we have a special guest speaker]  
  
Kakarott, "I'd like to introduce my two favorite friends! Here is Goku, this is Gogeta, and this is Vegetto!" Vegeta, "Who?" Bulma, "But you said two, and named three?" Kakarott.. Gropes and Vaporizes Bulma!!! Buruma, "That was mean!" Kakarott.. Gropes and Vaporizes Buruma!!! Burma, "How horrible!" Kakarott.. Gropes and Vaporizes Burma!!! Kakarott, "Damn the Japanese!"  
  
Writer: Explanation (of all of this)- The combinations of spellings that are possible while converting Japanese to English are endless. The syntax used in Japan is a multi-varying adaptive grammar based conjugation/exception system while the English syntax consists of three monkeys locked in a room with a typewriter and a blank book title The English Language! Plus this dub is done by FUNimation and aired on Cartoon Network (maybe), so anything is possible!  
  
Oh, wait, I'm Dead, soooo.... 


End file.
